Wednesday, September 12, 2012


I've never considered myself a high maintenance person, but I do have to say that this whole backpacking business is hardly female friendly. Right now I'm feeling a bit like this:

(She's packing for a weekend - I'm packing for three months! Imagine my horror.) 

 I've met some seriously cray cray bitches who spend hours getting ready every morning and can't walk around without an entire face of makeup on. I'm definitely not like that - if you run into me at a grocery store or coffee shop chances are I resemble a yeti. The amount of fucks I give: zero.

That being said, I do try to look presentable most of the time, and I do enjoy some glamour in my life. I like fancy bath products and makeup and high heels. You know, all that girly crap. That's why I'm finding it hard to fit all of this:

Into this

Fuck. My. Life. 

But alas, after about 6 hours (this includes immense procrastination) I have FINISHED!!! I seriously just made this backpack my bitch! Hallelujah! I am, however, still dreading the idea that I have had to completely nix bringing a pair of high heels and narrow my makeup collection down to only these products for three months:

Yes, I realize that for some people this is a lot of makeup. But for me this is maybe 1/10 of my collection. Didn't I tell you earlier that I look like a yeti without it!? 

I leave tomorrow morning and everything is still so surreal. I went to visit my friends today and say goodbye, and it was very bitter sweet. I got some pretty sweet going away gifts (coloring books and glittery crayons, a book to read on the plane, tons of candy and treats. My friends are amazing!) and it honestly wasn't until today that it really hit me that I'm actually doing this.

On one hand I'm extremely grateful and excited, and on the other hand I'm thinking to myself "You have a great job, great friends, and a hot boyfriend. Why are you leaving again?!?!?"  I know I'm only going for three months, but I'm a bit of a homebody at heart. I could have just studied abroad while I was in college, had a place to call home and keep my belongings at - but that's not what I wanted. I know it would have been easier, but why would I want to be cooped up in a classroom all week while I'm living in gorgeous new country?? I want to explore and be uninhibited. What I didn't realize until I started planning this trip, is that being uninhibited is freeaaakkin' scary for a control freak like myself. 

I'm hoping that when I get there everything will suddenly become clear and I'll remember why I love to travel. Until then, I guess I'll just sit here in my bedroom having a minor panic attack and eating homemade cookies I was gifted today. 

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